Gregg Braden, in his book “Divine Matrix” spoke about the 3 Universal Fears. He added that the root of our ‘negative experiences’ may be reduced to one or more of these fears. They are:
A. Fear of not being good enough (low self-worth)
B. Fear of Trusting/Surrendering (need for control)
C. Fear of Abandonment (being left alone)
Since working with client’s using the Quantum Leap™ coaching method, it’s become glaringly obvious that this is true. At least one of the 3 Universal fears will show up as we dive deeper.
If you’re a coach or change-agent you’ll know that what clients come to you for, is rarely the core problem. It’s always much deeper.
So when I dive deep, tap into a client’s neurology and get the truth behind the ‘problem’, it’s usually one of the 3 Universal fears - or a combination.
Let’s take a look at the 3 Universal fears, one by one
#1 - A fear of not being good enough
A fear of not being good enough can show up as being over-busy, not being able to say no, setting unrealistic expectations, and being over-responsible for other people. And it’s only after the deep dive that we uncover the real issue.
For example, it could be a childhood memory of someone saying or doing something that made a huge impression on their psyche at that time. Even though, intellectually it makes no sense now. However, in order to keep you safe, your subconscious mind avoids and escapes facing up to this.
#2 - A fear of Trusting and Surrendering
Which often shows up as imposter syndrome and thinking you’ll be found out. We tend to discount our skills and wins and hold ourselves small. Which doesn't allow others to see our full potential, because that would put us ‘out there’ and could lead to us being taken advantage of.
I remember years ago when I sat the exam for my fitness credentials, and couldn’t wait for the results, so rang up. When they told me I had passed and gave me the score I didn’t believe them. I felt sure there was another Joan Bell and I had received her results.
When we don’t trust ourselves, others, or the Universe, then we never get to reach our full potential. Always questioning, missing opportunities that we don’t even see because of our ‘filters’.
#3 - A fear of Abandonment
This can show up as a need-to-please, unhealthy relationships, external referencing and a strong aversion to criticism. Ironically, it can also create what we don’t want. People with this fear may have felt ‘abandoned’ in early childhood and often suffer anxiety and lack of trust in others.
I worked with a client who would move from one relationship to another because she didn’t want to risk emotional intimacy, even though it's what she craved deeply. And that stemmed from a childhood memory that she had never processed.
Is this coaching?
You might think that situations like this have no place in coaching and should be referred to a therapist. And I would have thought that too, a few years ago. As a certified Quantum leap coach (and NLP Master Practitioner) these kinds of situations are commonplace. In fact they always have been, but regular coaching doesn’t equip coaches to deal with situations like the ones I mentioned above.
And that’s the reason I decided to take that route. None of us knows what runs in the background of our personal ‘hard drive’. We’re too busy paying attention to what’s running on the home-screen, or what new software we want to add. We have a plethora of ‘apps’ we haven’t even tapped into yet, BUT, we crave even more! (often known as the shiny object syndrome)
So until something comes up that’s a struggle for you, or the ‘desktop’ of your mind begins to play random images that you don’t want to look at, you rarely seek a ‘support’ person. I mean, who wants to be THAT vulnerable?
And - we don’t really want to face what we’ve been hiding for years. (if we even know it's there)
Time to Move On
Unless you want to move on and make a massive transformation or three. And that’s when you would come to me to see if you're a fit for what I offer.
I have a programme where we uncover and transform these 3 Universal fears, patterns and habits with ease. And I make it fun as well as transformational.
What I do is work with the STRUCTURE of your thinking. So, how you think like you think to get the results you’ve been getting up to now. And from there we take a ‘diagnosis’ and analysis of the patterns and interferences that have been getting in your way.
And we do that leisurely over a couple of sessions. (Everyone seems to be in a rush today and that’s not conducive to deep coaching that brings transformative and long-lasting results.)
Only then can we begin any actual coaching or transformational processes. These are hand-picked to fit your specific situation and your real desired outcome. This almost always expands after the first few sessions. And why we don’t rush. It takes time to change beliefs and habits of a lifetime. So if you’re after a quick fix this wouldn’t be a fit for you.
Who is it For?
You’re a perfect fit if you're established, already working with clients and making upwards of 5 figures (often at the expense of your lifestyle). But something is just a little off-kilter and you can’t put your finger on it. Except that it shows up just when you're about to do something bigger, or make a shift.
This is also for you if your inner self doesn’t align with your outer persona. (You know, the one you slip on every morning before you walk out the door) and you need an upgrade and inner alignment so that you feel better in your own skin. You want to better know your-self.
It’s that one piece of the puzzle that if transformed, could change your life and how you BE in the world. It’s not the doing that holds you back, you’re good at that. If there's one thing you have expertise in, it's doing!
It’s the Being that challenges you. The releasing and letting go of control.
Imagine being able to step into all or even one or two of the scenarios I've listed here. What might that open up for you? And I'm speaking to internal you, not the bold, independent, can handle anything you throw at me - on the outside...(yes, I've been reading your mail).
Pick one or two that would really make a difference to you and try them on. Take them for a walk during your day and notice where you feel a difference. Then imagine having this embedded into your neurology as you create new neural pathways to make that possible. Imagine that. And these are just a sample of what is possible for you.
🧩 Being present, and aligned with your inner Knowing (inner CEO)
🧩 Being fully invested in yourself first
🧩 Being self reliant and resilient (for realz)
🧩 Being optimistic and open to possibilities
🧩 Being at ease and in flow
🧩 Being someone who is OK with saying No
🧩 Being someone who's able to relax fully without guilt
Some of the symptoms that were mentioned in the 3 Fears might give insight of where you personally relate. But, if we only work with symptoms, you could end up back at square one the moment you're triggered again. And that’s why regular coaching is rarely transformational. Because, it doesn’t address those triggers and beliefs that tell us where the change-power lies. (The specific area we need to work on)
And that's the information that leads to the transformation.
Work with me?
My method is a combination of NLP, Neurosemantics, Science, Universal Laws, and my many years of personal experiences. And everything I use in my programme - I’ve used myself and know it works. I call these methods and processes the difference that makes the difference.
The programme is for 8 weeks, and is still at the low end of 4 figures, as of this writing - so a no-brainer for the discerning coach, change-maker, or professional who wants to take a Quantum Leap, and finally step into the vision they’ve had of themselves for years but have barely scratched the surface. DM me on Facebook if this interests you.
If Covid has taught us one thing, it’s to grab moments and opportunities as they arise and to step up, speak our truth and take a stand for our beliefs and values.
The elusive ‘tomorrow’ is right now, and that's all we truly have.
Having worked in the coaching field for around 16 years now, I think it's safe to say that Greg Braden and his 3 Universal Fears are right on the money. Do you agree?
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