For some years now I’ve been fascinated with the human mind, how it works and what control we have over it. I’ve read a lot of studies, the most recent being the ‘discovery’ of neuro-plasticity which is fascinating, and last year to further my education I completed my NLP Practitioner training.
NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and teaches us how the mind works and gives us the tools and strategies to make productive changes in ways that move us forward to make improvements in our lives. We don’t need to keep the mindset we have now, we can change it. How brilliant is that?
What do I mean by change our mindset? I’ll give you a couple of examples that will describe this exactly. Allow me to introduce you to Kate and Jenny who are good friends and have very different mindsets.
Kate and Jenny have dreams and goals and want to step up in their business and have both seen a mentoring programme they would love to take but it’s rather more expensive than they have ever paid for a programme before.
Mindset 1. – Crabby Kate
“Well that’s a bummer! Why is it that all the good programmes are so expensive? They aren’t designed for people like me. It isn’t fair!” I’m never going to make the big leagues if this keeps up. Why are these people so greedy? I’ll see if I can find some more free courses. One day I’ll ………… blah blah blah
Mindset 2. – Joyful Jenny
“Wow” that’s expensive, more than I’ve ever paid for a programme, hmmm I wonder what I can sell, or do, to get that money together, I definitely will take this programme one way or another” It will help me step up and be the coach I want to be. I need to think bigger and this will help. I can’t expect my clients to do what I don’t do myself.
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It is never about the ‘problem’ and it is always about the mindset. Whether you think like Kate or Jenny, there will always be sufficient evidence to prove to you that what you believe is correct. Read that again if you like, allow it to sink in.
Did you know – you can change your mindset?
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Our second example:
Kate and Jenny again. They are both a few lbs overweight and want to take it off before Summer. They have 5 weeks to do it.
Mindset 1 – Crabby Kate
I’ll never take off all this weight before Summer starts, what’s the point? I’ve tried this ‘hundreds’ of times before and it doesn’t work. Why bother, I’ll just make a fool of myself again. I hate Summer, it’s not fair, I don’t overeat and I do exercise sometimes, it’s just so hard!” These skinny girls must starve themselves!
Mindset 2 – Joyful Jenny
OMG I can’t believe I’ve allowed myself to put all of this weight on over winter and now I have only 5 weeks to get it off before Summer. I really want to be able to go to the beach and take part in all the beach fun. Why do I do this to myself?
Ok, I better set some goals and write up an action plan. My gym membership is still valid so I’ll begin with some Zumba classes and hope I can last the whole class. I love dancing so that shouldn’t be so hard. I’ll walk to work 3 days a week to start with and cut down on the rubbish I’ve been eating. That would be a really good start. I’ll buy a new swimsuit to motivate myself.
Maybe I’ll call Kate and see if she wants to join me, although she’s never very good at follow through. No, I’ll call Ken instead, he really inspires me and gets me motivated. I can do this!
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So, which one sounded more like you?
Are you a Crabby Kate or a Joyful Jenny? The point here is not to judge you or make you feel bad in any way but simply to point out how easily it is to create a mindset that leads to a choice that either serves us or doesn’t.
Often it isn’t until we see this in print that we realize where we might have been playing small or holding ourselves back and the beauty of it is we don’t have to remain in that mindset.
Whatever your situation is currently, and in whatever area of your life, if there is something that is holding you back, a way of thinking, a belief or mindset that no longer serves you then I encourage you to take some time over the next month and really look at ways to change this.
Nothing we do is really ‘wrong’ it’s just that we often haven’t realized that there are other ways to do things. There is a saying in NLP that I love, “When we know better, we do better” and that is what I am inviting you to do now.
Coaches Challenge:
Choose an area of your life where you feel a bit yukky or out of alignment and then ask yourself “What do I believe about this”? and ask that question again about the answer, and then again, until you come to the core of that original belief.
Then ask yourself if this belief is still true for you or would another belief serve you better. This simple decision has the power to change your life.
I invite you to take one step this week. Pick one thing that you would like to change and then look at ways of changing your mindset so that it fits better with the person you are becoming. Start simply and aim high. Over time you will amaze yourself with how much you have changed into the real you, the one that has been longing to be seen and heard.
It all begins with one step, and a little courage.
GO FOR IT!
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